It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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