was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
