i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
