playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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