So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
