Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
then he tried to convert me to islam
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
