READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
