when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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