I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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