my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
if only i could text you this smell
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize