I hate your face
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
