ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize