I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
