dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
