why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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