No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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