FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
