Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
