I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Semen is not good for contacts.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
