her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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