he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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