she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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