And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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