I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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