i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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