chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
