But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
