you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
