She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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