this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
