I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
