i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
