Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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