got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
