if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just puked most of my soul out..
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