one two three fourrrrnication!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
