She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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