is your mom at the bar?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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