I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
