he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
