I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
sarcasm needs its own font
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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