Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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