i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
