end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
whose parrot is this?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
