do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I wish there were birth control emojis
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
