I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
