Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
