butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I looked at my own cervix.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
