my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
