You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
