the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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