Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My Sexting was not on an AP level
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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