it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
