i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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