im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
