we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize