you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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