We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize