but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
