He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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