I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
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