My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Buhtt sex?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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