New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
