...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
