You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize