I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
as a side note pls kill me
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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