I want to have your abortion
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize