..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
