well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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