hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
