Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
