well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
