i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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