2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize