so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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