May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
