I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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