if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
as a side note pls kill me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
